A Meeting Place for Early loss twins

This is really my twin's Enjy's place, not mine. S/He does not have any other place in this world. S/He was miscarried at age four months in the womb. We were twins and made to be together for years and we were torn apart within seconds. This is the place where I go to talk to him/her and about him/her. Anyone who has lost a twin in utero or very early is very welcome here to read and share.

Friday, April 8, 2011

In a dream ...

This is a picture a dear twinless twin-friend did for me. She said it shows me and my brother, close together, and he watching out for me with his eyes wide open, while I close my eyes and be content to be just with him. Of course, it is (not just) a dream in this life, but I do feel, sometimes, as if I was dreaming now and waiting to wake up to real life. Like C.S. Lewis, the author of the Narnia-books, said when he was dying: "The dream is ended, this is the morning."
I have dwelt on these words often, long before I knew I'm a twin, long before I started believing in God consciously. They have been a source of hope to me from early age on. I often felt so out of place in this world and longed for the "real dawn" to break.
Sometimes, I feel it's hard to pray. Sometimes, I am mad at God to set me on such a rough road through life and not even the credit of being visibly handicapped. Sometimes, I learn I CAN pray even in those moments when I imagine doing it together with my brother. I somehow think he loves Jesus.
And I always wanted to follow my brother in what he deems right to do ;-).

1 comment:

  1. Hello Anjy,
    Your twinless twin friend did an amazing image for you! Her interpretation of it was also quite touching. Your comments have come from the heart. The twinless twin journey is a very difficult one which demands a great deal of strength. My faith has helped me and I know it will help you also. This does not mean that it will always be easy. Take it from me I have had and continue to have difficult moments. I am on a journey to find peace at all times. Take care and know that there are many of us with you on this journey. Have a good weekend.